Wonder

I used to wonder where faith lived.

I thought I could find it

In mustard seeds and bended knees,

Where it might have been hiding

Under tainted steeples filled with weary people.

I sought it behind a mirage and looking glass,

Wondering if I could pass through if I just

Sat and prayed and stayed long enough,

Looking for this god of boundless love

Who promised to bind and wind his way into our souls

So that we might live free.

But in reality, were we truly free with

That inability to speak the doubts and dissents

That threatened our security?

I used to wonder how to save this faith.

But now I ponder how to wonder.

How to ask and act against the

False confidence and certainty

That was certainly too proud to hear

The quiet questions and fears always near.

It’s curious that being curious is

The straw that broke this camel’s back.

Simple punctuation perseverating,

Question marks repeating and not retreating till

This wonder couldn’t let me stay.

This was my great divide:

Stay and obey,

Leave and breathe.

I chose breath.

And with each expansion of these lungs,

May I exhale the freedom to be

A wild cacophony of human beauty,

Curious and wonder-filled,

Into reality.