Looking Back: A Guide to Intentional Reflection
Well, here we are. Just a few days short of the last month of 2022, five weeks away from another new year.
How are you feeling about this last year?
It can be hard to answer that question, I find. As the year winds down, plans and parties and obligations ramp up, leaving us winded and wondering how we’ll even make it to January, let alone reflect on it all. Add to that the fact that life is messy, that this past year probably wasn’t all good or bad, all joy-filled or sad, all peaceful or chaotic. No, it was probably a hard, stunning, complicated mix of it all.
The reality is that life isn’t just one thing. My year certainly wasn’t. 2022 held some amazing highs, as well some pretty challenging moments. I feel like it’s safe to assume that we’ve all had a full, complicated past almost 12 months. And it makes me wonder, what if the messiness and complexity of it all makes it that much more important to process our experiences? To make space to intentionally reflect?
Because perhaps our way forward is found in this space we create when we reflect, where reality and hopes can meet.
Over the years, I’ve generally tried to be someone who reflects before a new year begins. But to be honest, sometimes February rolls around and I just start to feel as though I can catch my breath. It can feel like I need to recover from a year’s end before I can even begin to really think about it.
I’m trying to be more intentional this December, though. Not because I feel like I have to, but because I want to. I see the value in slowing down in order to see the direction I’ve been moving in, dream and think about where I want to go, and process some ways I might change course.
There’s a quote by Annie Dillard that I read a number of years ago that says, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” In other words, today – this day you’re currently living through – is an important, individual part of the whole picture that makes up your life. The here and now are immediate and fleeting, yes, but also cumulative, collecting over time to create a vivid tapestry depicting how we have moved through this world. But when we’re in it, when we’re trying to simply get through today, often these short 24 hours bleed into next week and now a whole two months have gone by, and we haven’t even stopped to looked up and see if we like where we are.
My invitation to you today is to pause. To intentionally set aside some time – maybe 10 minutes, maybe a few hours – sometime in the next month or two, so that you can reflect on 2022. I believe that your year, however good, bad, or hard, is worth taking the time to notice and process.
To me, intentional reflection is a time during which you set aside distractions, making purposeful space to think, process, and wonder. Because it’s such a personal process, I don’t think there’s a one size fits all approach to this kind of reflection. That being said, these are a few suggestions and ideas that you might use as you reflect on your own year, should you be in need of or searching for some inspiration.
Take some time to actually look through those photos on your phone.
Do some scrolling. Notice what caught your eye this year and relive some of your happy moments from 2022. I did this recently and quickly realized how easy it is to forget about our little joy-filled photos that felt worth capturing. What is one picture that stands out to you? Why?
Create some vibes and have a good chat.
Go to your favourite coffee shop. Have a meal at your favourite restaurant. Walk through your favourite forest. Cozy up on your couch with a beverage. Find a spot that sparks joy and peace and invite someone (or multiple someones) you trust to process this last year with you. Beforehand, perhaps find some questions you think might be helpful in guiding your conversation.
Talk to your journal.
Maybe you’re like me and writing on your own is more your speed. Formulate or find some questions that can give you some clarity and intentionality in your reflection. Or, let yourself write, allowing thoughts to flow and following where they lead. Sometimes our brains just need us to listen and trust them as they jump from thought to thought.
Some questions you might reflect on:
- What are 5 words you would use to describe 2022?
- What are some of your favourite memories?
- What are some of the hard days or moments you experienced?
- How do you feel today, right here right now?
- How do you want to feel on a given day in 2023?
- How do you want to make other people feel this next year?
- What are your values, and what do you want them to look like in your daily life? (Check out Brene Brown’s work and worksheets on this!)
- What do you want to hold onto?
- What do you want to let go of?
- What are you scared of in this next year?
- What are you excited about?
- What do you need to say “no” to?
Some of my words about 2022 are chaos, laughter, travel, comfort, fun, learning, tired, satisfied. I still need to take the time to truly reflect on all that’s happened, all that I’ve done and experienced, and I’m sure some parts will make me laugh. Others might make me cry.
But when I look back at this last year with intention, honesty, and hope, I see messy wonder.
And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
May we slow, suspending our doing so that we can bask in our living. May joy and sorrow, hardships and the hope of tomorrow coexist as we look back, recognizing the slow, busy, mesmerizing, overfilled, and overflowing days that add up to the life we lived this year.
